Experience Malou

When I knew I was pregnant it also soon became clear to me that I wanted a birth doula. I had already heard about doula’s before and gathered more and more information as my pregnancy progressed. For me, the main reason was that I wanted someone at the delivery who could reassure both of us and who could help us when we were to panic. A midwife was not sufficient for me because then the main focus would be on the practical side of the delivery. I really wanted to give birth naturally without medical intervention, and in order to succeed in doing so some mental support appeared to be the right option. That is why we decided to hire a birth doula.

I ended up with Desie through an old classmate of mine. She didn`t have a website yet so I had to rely on the stories of my previous classmate who was very enthusiastic about her. We called for an introductory meeting and it already sounded promising on the phone. During the introduction we immediately felt it was right. Desie is very calm, interested, really takes time for you and above all has a very warm appearance which immediately creates a safe feeling. That is what I needed because I only wanted someone at my delivery with whom I felt 100% comfortable and safe. The appointments that followed were very informative, however pleasant as well. Something that gave us a lot of confidence in the chemistry between us and Desie.

When I had contractions for about 4 hours we awakened Desie at 4.30 a.m. Once she got there the contractions stopped and were not there for half an hour. However Desie remained very relaxed and made no desire to leave. Very pleasant for us because we felt rather burdened at first. She stayed with us for breakfast, gave me a massage and chatted about anything and everything.

She never was very present and also easily remained in the background, but she was very much involved. We thought that was a very pleasant balance.

Labor started slowly and the time between contractions varied during the day. We remained feeling confident, because Desie kept reassuring us that everything was going very normal. After 7.00 p.m. the contractions started to become more intense and another 2 hours later we called the midwife. I then had sufficient dilation to be allowed to go to hospital, something we really wanted ourselves. Once in hospital my membranes broke rather quickly. Desie then arranged  everything to proceed as we wanted, so that Matthijs could stay by my side. In the shower the urges to push started. Unfortunately the only midwife we didn`t want to be there was on duty and Desie flawlessly sensed the impact this was having on the birth process. When the midwife proposed to hand it over to another midwife, Desie agreed, knowing this was in line with our wishes. Throughout the entire pushing phase, Matthijs held my one hand and Desie my other hand. With every contraction she encouraged me and told me how well I was doing. She helped me to calm down and rest between contractions, while in the meantime Matthijs caressed and reassured me. It was a top team I had at my bedside. I had to get the strength to give birth from my toes, because my energy had subsided after being in labor for 26 hours. But thanks to the support of Matthijs and Desie I had an entirely natural delivery, without complications and interventions and just the way I wanted. We are sure the delivery would not have gone so well if Desie had not been there. Then we would have called the midwife after a few hours because labor only started slowly. It would very likely have become a medical birth. Now delivery took a longer time, but it was completely worth it!

Malou

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